Self-Help Books for Personal Improvement

Meredith Goldstein gives an inside look at what it is to be an advice columnist with her book Can't Help Myself. "A disarmingly honest memoir about giving advice when you're not sure what you're doing yourself, by the woman behind The Boston Globe's Love Letters column. Every day, Boston Globe advice columnist Meredith Goldstein takes on the relationship problems of thousands of dedicated readers. They look to her for wisdom on all matters of the heart- how to cope with dating fatigue and infidelity, work romances, tired marriages, true love, and true loss. In her column, she has it all figured out, but in her real life she is a lot less certain. Whether it's her own reservations about the traditional path of marriage and family, her difficulty finding someone she truly connects with, or the evolution of her friendships as her friends start to have their own families, Meredith finds herself looking for insight, just like her readers. As she searches for responses to their concerns, she's surprised to discover answers to her own. But it's after her mother is diagnosed with cancer that she truly realizes how special her Love Letters community is, how this column has enriched her life as much, if not more than, it has for its readers. Can't Help Myself is the extraordinary (and often hilarious) story of a single woman navigating her mercurial love life, and a moving and poignant portrait of an amazing community of big-hearted, love-seeking allies." (from Amazon.com)

Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy, and Fulfilling Lives by Rachel Simmons is for anyone raising or mentoring young women. "For many girls today, the drive to achieve is fueled by brutal self-criticism and an acute fear of failure. Though young women have never been more "successful"–outpacing boys in GPAs and college enrollment–they have also never struggled more. On the surface, girls may seem exceptional, but in reality, they are anxious and overwhelmed, feeling that, no matter how hard they try, they will never be smart enough, successful enough, pretty enough, thin enough, popular enough, or sexy enough. Rachel Simmons has been researching young women for two decades, and her research plainly shows that girl competence does not equal girl confidence—nor does it equal happiness, resilience, or self-worth. Backed by vivid case studies, Simmons warns that we have raised a generation of young women so focused on achieving that they avoid healthy risks, overthink setbacks, and suffer from imposter syndrome, believing they are frauds. As they spend more time projecting an image of effortless perfection on social media, these girls are prone to withdraw from the essential relationships that offer solace and support and bolster self-esteem. Deeply empathetic and meticulously researched, Enough As She Is offers a clear understanding of this devastating problem and provides practical parenting advice—including teaching girls self-compassion as an alternative to self-criticism, how to manage overthinking, resist the constant urge to compare themselves to peers, take healthy risks, navigate toxic elements of social media, prioritize self-care, and seek support when they need it. Enough As She Is sounds an alarm to parents and educators, arguing that young women can do more than survive adolescence. They can thrive. Enough As She Is shows us how." (from Amazon.com)

"Whether your intuition is naturally accessible or hidden, Intuition for Beginners shows how to enhance your sense of inner knowing to improve your relationships, solve problems, and make important decisions. Explore the different kinds of "sixth sense" with professional intuitive Diane Brandon as she shares how to discover your own intuition and make it stronger. Believe it or not, nearly everyone is intuitive! You can learn to use your intuition as a tool of empowerment at home, at work, or wherever you face uncertainty or challenges. With dozens of exercises, guided meditations, and helpful dos and don'ts, Intuition for Beginners will have you listening to your inner voice in no time." (from Amazon.com)

"The star of BET’s Mind, Body & Soul, and featured guest speaker on Oprah’s Lifeclass, Potter’s House pastor, T.D. Jakes turns his attention to the topic of relationships, guiding you on the right track to making decisions you will benefit from for the rest of your life. In the vein of Joel Osteen’s Become a Better You and Dr. Phil’s Life Strategies, the New York Times bestselling Making Great Decisions gives you the psychological and practical tools you need to reflect, discern, and decide the next step toward strong relationships in your life. “Remember,” writes T.D. Jakes, “your tomorrow is no better than the decisions you make today.” “My promise is that if you read this book, you will be equipped, you will know all you need to know about making foolproof relational decisions,” writes T.D. Jakes. Choosing the right partner, at home or at work, is one of the most consequential decisions we’ll ever make. How can we be sure that we’re choosing wisely? How do we know if we’re doing the right thing when we change careers? By breaking our decisions down into their five crucial components:

• Research: gathering information
• Roadwork: removing obstacles
• Rewards: listing choices and visualizing consequences
• Revelation: narrowing your options and making your selection
• Rearview: looking back and adjusting as necessary to stay on course

Clear-sighted, realistic, and spiritually uplifting, Before You Do: Making Great Decisions is one of those rare books that can change lives." (from Amazon.com)

New Adult Non-Fiction

"In a world that’s both more connected and more isolating than ever before, we’re often tempted to do life alone, whether because we’re so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. But science confirms that consistent, meaningful connection with others has a powerful impact on our well-being. We are meant to live known and loved. But so many are hiding behind emotional walls that we’re experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. In Find Your People, bestselling author Jennie Allen draws on fascinating insights from science and history, timeless biblical truth, and vulnerable stories from her own life to help you:

• overcome the barriers to making new friends and learn to initiate with easy-to-follow steps

• find simple ways to press through awkward to get to authentic in conversations

• understand how conflict can strengthen relationships rather than destroy them

• identify the type of friend you are and the types of friends you need

• learn the five practical ingredients you need to have the type of friends you’ve always longed for 

You were created to play, engage, adventure, and explore—with others. In Find Your People, you’ll discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and experience the full wonder of community. Because while the ache of loneliness is real, it doesn’t have to be your reality." (from Amazon.com)

"A suspense filled tale of murder on the American frontier—shedding new light on a family of serial killers in Kansas, whose horrifying crimes gripped the attention of a nation still reeling from war. In 1873 the people of Labette County, Kansas made a grisly discovery. Buried by a trailside cabin beneath an orchard of young apple trees were the remains of countless bodies. Below the cabin itself was a cellar stained with blood. The Benders, the family of four who once resided on the property were nowhere to be found. The discovery sent the local community and national newspapers into a frenzy that continued for decades, sparking an epic manhunt for the Benders. The idea that a family of seemingly respectable homesteaders—one among the thousands relocating farther west in search of land and opportunity after the Civil War—were capable of operating "a human slaughter pen" appalled and fascinated the nation. But who the Benders really were, why they committed such a vicious killing spree and whether justice ever caught up to them is a mystery that remains unsolved to this day. Set against the backdrop of postbellum America, Hell’s Half-Acre explores the environment capable of allowing such horrors to take place. Drawing on extensive original archival material, Susan Jonusas introduces us to a fascinating cast of characters, many of whom have been previously missing from the story. Among them are the families of the victims, the hapless detectives who lost the trail, and the fugitives that helped the murderers escape. Hell’s Half-Acre is a journey into the turbulent heart of nineteenth century America, a place where modernity stalks across the landscape, violently displacing existing populations and building new ones. It is a world where folklore can quickly become fact and an entire family of criminals can slip through a community’s fingers, only to reappear in the most unexpected of places." (from Amazon.com)

Scoundrel: How a Convicted Murderer Persuaded the Women Who Loved Him, the Conservative Establishment, and the Courts to Set Him Free is by Sarah Weinman. "The astonishing story of a murderer who conned the people around him—including conservative thinker William F. Buckley—into helping set him free. In the 1960s, Edgar Smith, in prison and sentenced to death for the murder of teenager Victoria Zielinski, struck up a correspondence with William F. Buckley, the founder of National Review. Buckley, who refused to believe that a man who supported the neoconservative movement could have committed such a heinous crime, began to advocate not only for Smith’s life to be spared but also for his sentence to be overturned. So begins a bizarre and tragic tale of mid-century America. Sarah Weinman’s Scoundrel leads us through the twists of fate and fortune that brought Smith to freedom, book deals, fame, and eventually to attempting murder again. In Smith, Weinman has uncovered a psychopath who slipped his way into public acclaim and acceptance before crashing down to earth once again. From the people Smith deceived—Buckley, the book editor who published his work, friends from back home, and the women who loved him—to Americans who were willing to buy into his lies, Weinman explores who in our world is accorded innocence, and how the public becomes complicit in the stories we tell one another. Scoundrel shows, with clear eyes and sympathy for all those who entered Smith’s orbit, how and why he was able to manipulate, obfuscate, and make a mockery of both well-meaning people and the American criminal justice system. It tells a forgotten part of American history at the nexus of justice, prison reform, and civil rights, and exposes how one man’s ill-conceived plan to set another man free came at the great expense of Edgar Smith’s victims." (from Amazon.com)

"In Blameforest, Jason Stocks captures the rhythms of a vibrant vernacular that is original and authentic. He builds a distinctive world that often turns violent and lovelorn, his rendering clear-eyed and voiced like a blade -- and does so while displaying the expansive range of a skilled craftsman. Far more than a sequence of individual poems, Blameforest is a layered and nuanced work of innovative literature to be read in one sitting, and then over and over again. Jason Stocks lives and writes in Florida. His work has appeared in New Delta Review, Confrontation, Exterminating Angel Press, and other fine journals. Blameforest is his first full-length poetry collection." (from Amazon.com)

Advice for Women

Two new books in our self-help/relationship section, the following books will help you realize healthy relationships and deal with life's curve balls--big and small.

The first book is Girlfriend to Girlfriend: Everyday Wisdom and Affirmations from the Sisters Circle by Julia A. Boyd. This book is full of straight-talking sisters with advice to help every women get through the obstacle course that makes up daily life. The Sisters Circle advice comes from the heart and is meant to help you realize that things don't always go as planned, but we can get through those moments with a little encouragement, prayer, and a whole lot of truth. Above all, we must remember to laugh, to love, and to care for ourselves as much as we do for others.

The second book for your enjoyment is Don't Give It Away! by Iyanla Vanzant. This workbook styled tome is designed to help you express your thoughts and feelings about the things that matter to you like your family, your friends, your body, and your love life. While problems at home, work, or school are an everyday occurrence, understanding what to do with how you feel about your problems is the key to growing as an individual. Iyanla designed this book to teach practical coping strategies for women young or old.

Relationships and Other Life Advice

     Two new books in our dating and self-improvement sections may appeal to the fans of self-help books.

     First is 121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Falling in Love, and Live Happily Ever After (Really!) written by Wendy Newman. Professional dating and relationship educator Newman says there are three things she has learned for sure: There is one special someone for each of us. You will probably meet a lot of "nos" before you find your "yes." And you can't let this fact scare you off, because you could miss out on some amazing experiences! Newman chronicles her often hilarious, always heartfelt, and occasionally mortifying 121 first dates she went on before finding her perfect match. She made every imaginable dating mistake out there--so you don't have to. She busts dating myths, answers some long-sought-after questions, and examines the pitfalls that could make you lose your mind and swear-off dating altogether. She also offers a plethora of the best tips for navigating the online dating scene. Newman's dating pitfalls and triumphs serve to illustrate her advice and will certainly inspire anyone ready to step-out and find just the right person for a happily-ever-after.

     Kelsey Miller had done it all: crash dieting, healthy dieting, and expensive nutritionist-prescribed "eating plans," but nothing was working. In Big Girl: How I Gave Up Dieting & Got a Life, she chronicles how she realized, at the age of 29, that no diet was going to transform her body or her life. Armed with this knowledge as well as the help of an intuitive eating coach and fitness professionals, she learned how to eat based on her body's natural instincts and how to exercise for her health without obsessing over the number of calories burned. With each healthy step, Miller had to learn to contend with the painful memories from her past. For anyone who has wrestled with a distorted body image, food issues, or family traumas, this book is definitely for you. It is also for anyone who has tried and failed and "felt like a big, fat loser." So, basically, all of us...
     While both of these books tend to be geared toward women, I think guys could pick up some good advice as well. We all feel the jitters of a first date and we all feel less than perfect about our bodies and eating habits every now and then.

Download Audio Books to Your Personal Device or Computer.

Our library patrons can now download audio books to their personal devices and computers through OneClickdigital. The OneClickdigital app can be found for both Apple and Android devices.

Just click on the link and sign up for your account using your library card number for access to thousands of books, both new and classics - http://warrenms.oneclickdigital.com/

Need help getting started? There is as step-by-step tutorial at http://warrenms.oneclickdigital.com/#help

Once in, you can choose titles from twenty-seven different genres, listed below :

1. Arts and Entertainment
2. Biographies, Autobiographies and Memoirs
3. Business and Economics
4. Classics
5. Comics and Graphic Novels
6. Fantasy
7. General Fiction
8. General Non-Fiction
9. Historical Fiction
10. History
11. Humor
12. Juvenile Fiction
13. Language
14. Literary Fiction
15. Mystery
16. Poetry
17. Politics and Current Events
18. Religion
19. Romanace
20. Science
21. Sci-Fi
22. Self-Help
23. Short Stories
24. Sports
25. Suspense and Thrillers
26. Western
27. Women's Fiction

Taking the first steps to launching the career of your dreams.

According to Ben Arment, the author of 'Dream Year : Make the Leap from a Job You Hate to a Life You Love", there is no such thing as a 'dream job'.  A job is where you are working for someone else to fulfill their dreams, not your own.

In his coaching classes, he has worked with hundreds of people to help them identify their dream career, plan it out and launch it in one year.

His new book is full of insights and advice, but most captivating part is the stories of the people who have followed his step-by-step program to switch from the jobs that paid the bills to work that they are enthusiastic about and enjoy while still making a living.

The book covers the steps in individual chapters starting with finding and defining your dream career and follows through to growing and sustaining it.  One of his main points - never give up and he gives several examples of those who had to make multiple tries before they reached their own goals, including Abraham Lincoln.

The Prayer of Love

The Prayer of Love (C 241 H233p) by Dr. Mark Hanby and Roger Roth, Sr. is a non-fiction audio book I recently listened to while driving back and forth to work.  The book is based on a little known prayer contained in a letter that the Apostle Paul wrote to the

Phillippians.  The text of this 59 word prayer, according to the New International Version of the Bible is: 

⁹ And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰ so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, ¹¹ filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

The authors use this prayer to illustrate that love is not an occasional feeling but a daily experience that continually brings peace and joy.  The authors examine this prayer by breaking it down into seven parts that form "benchmarks" for understanding and maturing in love.  The tone of the book is friendly and uncomplicated and is easy to understand by persons familiar with the bible or not.  This is a great audiobook for anyone interested in increasing their own understanding of how to develop love in their lives.  The library owns this book in audio CD format as well as in a Large-Type print version.  

Eight Habits of Love

8 Habits of Love:  Open Your Heart, Open Your Mind by Ed Bacon teaches you how to take the first steps on a life-changing journey toward self-discovery, creativity and healing, by celebrating and sharing the love that already lives inside you!  This will help you free yourself from the fear, anger and sadness that causes so much suffering in your life.  Using stories to illustrate his points, Bacon reveals how the reader can create a full and meaningful life by developing the habits of generosity, sillness, truth, candor, play, forgiveness, compassion and community.  By learning how to develop these habits in our daily lives, the reader learns how to reject fear's hold and embrace the power and grace within his/her self.  Author Ed Bacon has served as the rector for All Saints, an urban Episcopal Parish in Pasadena, CA with over 4,000 congregants, for over fifteen years.  His church services have attracted visits from many famous figures and he has been a frequent guest on Oprah's Soul Series on Oprah Radio and been a panelist in the "Spirituality 101" segment of The Oprah Winfrey Show.  Bacon lives in Pasadena, CA with his wife, Hope. 

Eat What You Love!

Most people recently get really upset when they are diagnosed with diabetes.  However, it is not "the end of the world" when it comes to never eating the foods you like again!  While I am not a doctor, treating diabetes  is all about portion control, being aware of what you are eating, and getting enough exercise.  The library has many books on good diets for diabetics and we have recently received another excellent one.  Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat with Diabetes:  A Mindful Eating Program for Thriving with Prediabetes or Diabetes by Dr. Michelle May is a wonderful book that aims to help diabetics feel better and make sensible (but enjoyable) food choices.  Dr. May's dedication page sums up the whole premise of the book, "May these words unlock the prison of restrictive eating and open the door to mindful diabetes care."  Dr. May teaches the reader how to practice "mindful eating," which is, in a nutshell, teaching the diabetic to not follow rigid nutrition rules and strict exercise regimes but rather making them aware of their beliefs, thoughts, and physical states in order to enable long-term lifestyle changes.  This book is great for any person trying to maintain a healthy weight, because it really does teach practical tools that anyone can use.  The biggest plus in this book is that it teaches the reader to be more aware of what, when and how he/she eats so that he/she can increase his/her satisfaction from the whole experience of eating and ultimately eat less and healthier foods.  There are also chapters on strenth training and the types of food diabetics should eat, and a wonderful chapter on stretching and "mindful movement."  This is a very well-rounded book that would be perfect for the newly-diagnosed diabetic or anyone struggling with this disease. 

Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart

While leafing through this book, The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart by Daphne Rose Kingma, I ran across a section about why she decided to write this book. A friend of her had these dire circumstances happen to her and wanted comfort. The circumstances? Her boyfriend of six years had just announced he was in love with another woman. Her landlord had given her a thirty day notice to vacate her apartment. Her job as a school librarian was being axed as a consequence of budget cuts. She caught her fourteen-year-old daughter smoking dope, then her eighty-three-year old mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's--the diagnosis coming a week before she was going to send her daughter to live with her mom so the purple-haired girl could get a taste of some good old-fashioned stability.

Then, a second friend faced a similar round of maladies; he lost his job, his wife left him, and his financial portfolio had dwindled to less than a third of its original size. On a moment's noitce he'd had to move from the apartment he'd moved into just six months before, and he'd been diagnosed with a slow-moving degenerative disease that would, ultimately, be fatal. The second friend asked for a list of ten things to do to get through this crisis. This is the list the author came up with. She states, "these ten things--and I don't care what you cal them; ways, steps, practices, teachings--are things to do, to stop doing, to think of, to remember, and to become so that you can find your way through this very hard time. Their purpose is to show you that rather than being random assaults from an uncaring universe, the difficulties you are going through have meaning and purpose. Not only is your crisis here to get you to exercise your coping muscles, and therein discover your strenth; your problems also have a larger purpose. And that is to remind you of the quality of being that you truly are--powerful, loving, eternal."

This book will take you on a path of emotional spiritual healing with particular attention to the complex and freqeuntly overwhelming circumstances of our lives right now. The perfect combination of empathic friend, sage counselor, savvy problem solver, and even gallows humorist, Kingma looks straight intot he predicaments so many of us face. She then offers ten deceptively simple yet profoundly effective strategies for coping on practical, emotional, and spiritual levels. The devastating events cannot be changed, but after reading this book you will be, having recovered a sense of equanimity, spirit and strength. Whether you're struggling with money issues, job loss, relationship problems, an unexpected health crisis, or all of the above, this book will light your path and heal your heart.

And, one of the chapter titles in the introduction I'm going to make my personal mantra: It's not your fault, it's your journey.